January 9, 2012 in Uncategorized
I have been put in a weird situation since yesterday.
Yogaraj everyday has many young visitors who want to assist him. They all come with big dreams and most of the times we don’t know how to turn them down because we are already full with many people working with us since many projects. The most difficult thing for me is to tell someone I cant have them in the team. And we both have many times thrown this difficult task on each other. Sometimes the applicant makes it easy for us, he would be wanting to work with us for the glamour more than the art itself! So in such cases it is pretty easy to say NO!
One boy has been coming to the office for the last two weeks and I haven’t been going there for more than a month bcoz I am writing Lucia sitting at home. Yesterday I had been there for a short while and then the others introduced me to this young boy, who looks like he is 14 or 15, short and super skinny with braces. I was wondering why I had to to meet him. Then I got to know that he has been coming to office everyday asking for me bcoz he wants to work with me. And apparently he would just come and wait there in the office thinking I’d turn up sometime. Though others had told him that I wont be coming, this boy wouldn’t listen to them. So we finally met yesterday!
His story – He is 19 years old. Has scored 88 in SSLC and 82 in PUC, he is from a village in Bijapur. And after doing 1 year of engineering he decided to quit to pursue film making and now wants to work with me to become a director someday! And yes he has left his home in Bijapur and come to Bangalore with a small bag of clothes.
This guy is a tough one. I have no idea how to deal with this case. And the main reason is because he reminds me of my own life. 10 years ago I was 19 and I had quit engineering with the same dreams. I was in someones office the same way asking them to teach me stuff!
A part of me wants to say NO. So that he could get back to college and finish studying, have a good job, and take care of his father who is a farmer, earn his money and have a decent comfortable life. But then how am I different from all those people who had said a NO to me when I was 19! Looking back, was their intention the same? Did they also not want me to go through this really difficult journey of instability and insecurities. I want to say NO to this guy so that he doesn’t have to endure the hardships.
Another part of me wants to take him. He is one of those few people I have met who is filled with innocence. And how much ever I tried scarring him about the journey so that he goes back to college, he would answer back with lot of smartness. He is stubborn. I was a stubborn too! So I want to take him so that he doesn’t have to roam around knocking other doors. He looks like someone who will learn and do something of it. But what about his farmer dad! What about the mother and the sister back there in the village. Will I be responsible if he doesn’t make it? Unlike other professions, he will be so helpless in this industry. And cant go back and get some job bcoz he’d have no education to show. If this guy was from Bangalore and had something to fall back on, I wouldn’t be worried. Its funny how all these things didn’t come to my head when I was 19, but it surely did to the people around me who were as old as I am now. Its true that when we are young we are blind to many things and sometimes that blindness is what makes us take the wrong step and makes us discover a whole new path! At this point in my life I am glad I was blind then, but something holds me back in this guy’s case.
Since I have met him, this whole thing is running in my head all the time. And now I feel like forgiving a lot of people who had said NO to me, may be they weren’t really bad, they thought they were helping me by saying – NO.
I guess I am gonna give this boy a few tests and then take a call on this. But, god never again put me in this situation.